Lower than low

What an up and down week. There are months when I have post-menstrual emotional crashes. This was just such a month. Tuesday I was so down in the dumps, but I knew it would pass. ANd it did. Wednesday was better, went and weighed in, lost 2.4 for a grand total of 21 pounds, was feeling great and on top of the world.

Went and got a manicure after work as a reward. Today started out ok, I made a concerted effort to snack wisely and on schedule, had a balanced lunch with an honest to God vegetable. Then started getting a headache after 4. By the time I got home from work, the headache was almost migraine level but the worst part was the hunger. I get so frustrated when I get these headaches and get the additional hunger with them. Pisses me off and frustrates me to no end.

Decided to use some Flex points for supper, which makes me feel guilty, although I don't know why because it's perfectly legal on WW. Still wasn't full after dinner, still had the headache.

Started dealing with some of the emotional issues tonight, sort of. One of the reasons I eat is because I am so lonely. I haven't had a boyfriend in awhile and I'm at an interesting point in my life when it comes to women friends. My closest friends live in Florida and England. These 2 women are the type of friend I can talk with about anything under the sun. I just wish to hell they lived closer. I have several friends in the Jaycees, but not a best friend. I really miss having a best friend, one who truly gets me. The other friends I have here in town are married, have children or whatever.

So tonight, since I am no longer stuffing my emotions inside with food, everything is bubbing up and I can't stop crying. I don't know what to do with these emotions now. I just feel lost.